‘Earth vs. the Lava Spiders’ – Candace Nola (Uncomfortably Dark Horror)

 


Page Count: 52 Pages

It’s not just zombie movies that I’ll watch, regardless of quality… If a film, or book, starts with the words ‘Earth vs.’? I’ll be there for it. And now I’ve said that, I’m just going to have to read ‘Earth vs. the Nudist Camp Freaks’ and ‘Earth vs. the Star Mummy’ (the two other novellas in this series) as well. I wouldn’t want to make a liar out of myself (dammit). Anyway…

One of my ‘daily blog visits’ is ‘Paperback Warrior’ and that’s where I first saw that 1950s Earth had a problem on its hands with a big ol’ horde of Lava Spiders. Well, I had to head to Pine Grove and check out the situation…

Tonight’s special features takes place on a quiet Friday night in the small coastal town of Pine Grove. Strange lights appear over Shasta Island and an explosion rocks the beachfront. Fireballs rain down from the sky as lava bubbles from the hidden volcano, unleashing a nightmare of hellfire and blood on the town.

Watch in horror as the Lava Spiders surge across the land, devouring every bit of hot human flesh in their midst! Who will survive the blood frenzy?!

Remember how I’ve always said that I love any kind of ‘creature feature’ (good, bad and everything in between)? ‘Earth vs. the Lava Spiders’ is a tale that contains all the reasons why. It won’t change your life, it’s possible that the only thing I’ll remember about it is the title (that’s on me though, ADHD and chemotherapy...), but for the hour or so that I spent in Pine Grove, I had so much fun. That counts for a hell of a lot these days and I’m very grateful for it.

‘Earth vs. the Lava Spiders’ knows what it needs to do and more importantly, what it needs to do to stand out from its ‘B-Movie Brethren’; pour blood over everything and make ‘biting heads off’ a fascinating past-time for your average Lava Spider. Again, there are no surprises here but the payoff is that you get a tale that scuttles along (just like a Lava Spider) on a tidal wave of blood and body parts, shedding a gory light on all those classic B-Movie tropes. If you’re here for plot, then I’ll stop you right here. ‘Earth vs. the Lava Spiders’ isn’t the tale for you, more of a brief spotlight on arachnid horror that ends a little too easily. If you’re here for a laugh with your short, sharp dose of arachnid horror? Well, this tale has you covered, an affectionate homage to 1950s sci-fi horror movies, with a nasty bite.

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