'Doctor Who: Timelash' (1985)
I knew I should have probably stayed out CEX yesterday but I didn't and now I'm two 'Doctor Who' DVDs the better off for it. My wallet may not agree but it's not like anyone asked it so... ;o)
One
abortive attempt at painting 'Age of Sigmar' miniatures (which I'm really
hoping will look better in daylight...), last night, and I thought I'd give
'Timelash' a go. Now here's a story that I remember very little about, other
than that I wasn't all that impressed back in 1985. One viewing later and... I
remember why now, I remember everything.
The TARDIS gets caught in the Timelash, a powerful time
corridor that brings the Doctor and Peri to the troubled planet of Karfel. The
planet is on the brink of war and ruled by an insane and much feared dictator
who punishes Karfelions by throwing them into the Timelash. But why is their
leader never seen in person? And what links Karfel to 19th century
Scotland? The Doctor arrives just in time to find out...
When ‘Classic Doctor Who’ is good, it can be very good indeed.
When it’s bad though…? Well, it’s ‘Timelash’.
‘Timelash’ took me an absolute age to get through last night,
mostly because I kept falling asleep… And not just because I was tired either, ‘Timelash’
has a horrible habit of taking ages to say and do not very much and considering
it all takes place over only two episodes… Well, that tells you an awful lot
about this story. What is really frustrating is that it feels like all the
ingredients are there for a lot more than what we eventually end up with.
People being thrown into a time corridor, an insane dictator lurking in the
shadows, a monster in the caverns and a bit of political intrigue as well. It
should have been a lot better than this but what we end up with is a time
corridor that people can literally climb out of, a very rubbery looking monster
and Paul Darrow trying his level best to eat some (very plain) scenery and drag
everyone else for the ride. Spoiler Alert: No-one can really be bothered to
join him. The ‘insane dictator’ stuff isn’t bad but is nowhere near enough to
carry the show on its own.
And I’m hard pressed to remember another story where Colin Baker’s
Doctor comes across as such an unlikeable arse to be honest. I don’t mind Baker’s
performances normally, there’s a nice bit of bombast to them which is fitting
if you’re the Doctor, but here… Here, Baker is just plain unlikeable and that’s
not in keeping with the Doctor. I’d feel sorry for Peri if she wasn’t too busy
whining and showing that she has no agency whatsoever. And what’s the deal with
Herbert? Now here’s a character whose only purpose seems to be so that the Doctor
can say something about him at the end of the story. That and also so that the
story has a reason for calling the cave monsters ‘Morlocks’ (they clearly
couldn’t come up with something original and it’s not like they even had to…)
‘Timelash’ is a right old mess then, I can’t even do my normal
thing and say that at least I got to give it a go again. Oh well, on to the
next one… 😊
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