'Doctor Who: Timelash' (1985)


I knew I should have probably stayed out CEX yesterday but I didn't and now I'm two 'Doctor Who' DVDs the better off for it. My wallet may not agree but it's not like anyone asked it so... ;o)

One abortive attempt at painting 'Age of Sigmar' miniatures (which I'm really hoping will look better in daylight...), last night, and I thought I'd give 'Timelash' a go. Now here's a story that I remember very little about, other than that I wasn't all that impressed back in 1985. One viewing later and... I remember why now, I remember everything.

The TARDIS gets caught in the Timelash, a powerful time corridor that brings the Doctor and Peri to the troubled planet of Karfel. The planet is on the brink of war and ruled by an insane and much feared dictator who punishes Karfelions by throwing them into the Timelash. But why is their leader never seen in person? And what links Karfel to 19th century Scotland? The Doctor arrives just in time to find out...

When ‘Classic Doctor Who’ is good, it can be very good indeed. When it’s bad though…? Well, it’s ‘Timelash’.

‘Timelash’ took me an absolute age to get through last night, mostly because I kept falling asleep… And not just because I was tired either, ‘Timelash’ has a horrible habit of taking ages to say and do not very much and considering it all takes place over only two episodes… Well, that tells you an awful lot about this story. What is really frustrating is that it feels like all the ingredients are there for a lot more than what we eventually end up with. People being thrown into a time corridor, an insane dictator lurking in the shadows, a monster in the caverns and a bit of political intrigue as well. It should have been a lot better than this but what we end up with is a time corridor that people can literally climb out of, a very rubbery looking monster and Paul Darrow trying his level best to eat some (very plain) scenery and drag everyone else for the ride. Spoiler Alert: No-one can really be bothered to join him. The ‘insane dictator’ stuff isn’t bad but is nowhere near enough to carry the show on its own.

And I’m hard pressed to remember another story where Colin Baker’s Doctor comes across as such an unlikeable arse to be honest. I don’t mind Baker’s performances normally, there’s a nice bit of bombast to them which is fitting if you’re the Doctor, but here… Here, Baker is just plain unlikeable and that’s not in keeping with the Doctor. I’d feel sorry for Peri if she wasn’t too busy whining and showing that she has no agency whatsoever. And what’s the deal with Herbert? Now here’s a character whose only purpose seems to be so that the Doctor can say something about him at the end of the story. That and also so that the story has a reason for calling the cave monsters ‘Morlocks’ (they clearly couldn’t come up with something original and it’s not like they even had to…)

‘Timelash’ is a right old mess then, I can’t even do my normal thing and say that at least I got to give it a go again. Oh well, on to the next one… 😊

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