'Conan and the Spider God' – L. Sprague De Camp (Sphere)


Last week was really busy with a little bit of work and a LOT of looking after my two kids over the half term. I'm not going to lie, they're great fun but going back into the office (for a day on Friday) felt like the break I needed... ;o) Just one of them to look after today, wish me luck?

I wasn't expecting to but I did manage to polish off a few books over the last week, mostly because I wasn't in a fit state to do anything else after spending a day with the girls (you know how it is, right?) 'Conan and the Spider God' was a book that I'd had my eye on for absolutely ages because, well... It's Conan fighting a giant spider, can it actually get any cooler than that? You wouldn't have thought so; I didn't think so, not until I read the book anyway...

Unjustly accused of abducting King Yildiz's favourite wife, Conan must clear his name by rescuing her himself - even though the bloody trail will lead him to confront the evil magic of the priests of Zath and the unspeakable horrors of their charnel-house temple!

Look, I get it. Robert E. Howard was a masterful storyteller and no-one has ever really come close to doing what he did with Conan, not when they've had a go with the character themselves. And that's ok. When you're up against a master, all you can really do is your best and hope that you don't look too stupid in the meantime.

Having said that though... If you've got Conan pitting himself against a giant spider, well... It's going to take a pretty special author to mess that one up and somehow, that's exactly what L. Sprague De Camp goes and does. I'm kind of at a loss as to how he did it but I'm sat here looking at the evidence and that's where we are.

'Conan and the Spider God' is a book that has had all the fun and adventure (that you'd normally associate with a 'Conan' tale) sucked right out of it. What you're left with is a solid yet strangely unimaginative recounting of an adventure that Conan had. Except it's not really an adventure, more a recounting of Conan attempting to adapt to civilization by taking a job and wooing a dancer from the temple of the Spider God. Which is fine, Conan's struggle with the demands of civilisation is an ongoing theme through his adventures, but not for a whole book. The balance is all wrong, the cool bits quickly occur at the beginning and end while the bulk of the book is Conan working as a blacksmith while trying to work out the plans of the High Priest. Oh yes, and a mystery over who is trying to kill Conan but we already know the 'why' and the 'who' is fairly obvious so yeah, not really worth spending too much time on.

I read my way through the whole thing but more because it was a quick read and I couldn't get into anything on Prime. The further I got with it, the less there was to recommend it. Oh well, not every book is going to work out.

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