'Clowns vs Spiders' – Jeff Strand

Some people will pick their next read based on a favourite author while others will pick theirs based on a certain genre that they quite fancy dipping into. I will quite happily do both of these but what you will see me do just as often is go for the book with the coolest sounding name. The more sombre it sounds, the better. The sillier it sounds, also the better. This is why I read 'Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes' one time and why I will be reading 'Exit Wounds', on the bus, in the morning when I go back to work. This is one of the reasons I've been reading 'Clowns vs Spiders' over the last day or two. I mean, how could anyone not pick up a book with a title like that? If you can then you're a stronger person than I am but you're also missing out on a little treat by 'rapidly becomng a new favourite author of mine' Jeff Strand.

Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers Guffaw, Wagon, Reginald The Pleasant Clown, and Bluehead are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore.
Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. Instead of charming entertainers, they're now scary clowns. A zombie clown. A demon clown. A creepy doll clown.
But the town is about to discover something more frightening than clowns. Because on opening night, millions of oversized spiders emerge from a cave and begin their deadly invasion...

I love it when an author just doesn't care how outlandish the concept, that has just popped into their head, is; it's going on the page and it's going to be awesome. That's where Jeff Strand is coming from and it's a target that he hits more times than not over the course of 'Clowns vs Spiders'.

I say 'more often than not'... There are times when the dialogue (particularly between the clowns) felt a little forced and trying to explain jokes that were already funny as far as I was concerned. I wasn't sure if I was dealing with a group of socially awkward clowns (who over analyse things) or if Strand wanted to really make sure that his jokes were heard, I'm guessing a little bit of A and a little bit of B. I can understand clowns being a little awkward, especially clowns trying to find their place in a world that hates and fears them (see what I did there?), but I prefer to see jokes run wild and free as nature clearly intended.

This is a minor gripe though when you're dealing with something as naturally awesome as clowns facing off against giant spiders. You'd pretty much have to deliberately sabotage your own book to mess up something like that and Strand is in no mood to do that here.

What we have here then is a hundred and eighty three pages of jump scares and prat-falls, all delicately balanced to provide a book that scares just as much as it makes you laugh. Sometimes the scares and the laughs come at exactly the same time and you don't have a clue how to react. That slightly unsettled feeling, that comes as a result, is just how the book wants you to feel, more than a little unsure as to what will happen next...

'Clowns vs Spiders' is what 'Shaun of the Dead' would have been if Shaun was a clown and the zombies were... you get the idea. As such then, there is a strong vein of heroism and redemption running through the book which Strand utilises to good affect, both in terms of character development and as an opportunity to crack a few jokes. Jaunty, our 'hero', is a clown wth a mission that goes beyond just killing spiders and you can't help but get behind his enthusiasm and desire to be the best clown he can possibly be.

'Clowns vs Spiders' ended up being a great way to get through the 'post Christmas come-down' and I'd recommend it whether you want a laugh or if you just hate spiders and want to see them taken out by a clown with a machine gun. It works on both levels and a few more, all at the same time.